Damn, how many times can I say/type gender in one day?! Between facebook, twitter and the blog, it’s getting ridiculous over the last few weeks and people are probably ready to start throwing tomatoes.
But we are less than 24 hours away from finding out the gender of our baby. We hope. How do you coax a fetus to spread their legs, when for the rest of their lives, you’ll be telling them to keep them shut!
Not to mention that they’ll also be analyzing every piece and corner of our tiny bean, but we tend to forget about that, with all the talk of gender. So I’m also anxious to know that is well, on track, and baby is healthy!
I don’t think I’ve ever been so nervous in my life, than I have been with the events involved with pregnancy. Which includes telling people…and we made it through that with flying colors (mostly), and now finding out gender.
I’ve always known I’d find out. I’m not good with being patient, and definitely not good with surprises when I know something’s up. So finding out is obvious to me. But part of me now understands why people wait. 9 months of anticipation is still not enough to convince me though…
I’m taking a gender poll via facebook, and so far, girl is winning by two. Everyone around us has said girl from day one, except me and Brennan. Brennan has a little sister with his mom in Washington, and I don’t think he’s prepared for another girl. Me, well I’ve always wanted a daughter, so I tried convincing myself from the beginning that it was a boy and wouldn’t allow myself to look at the girly stuff, even though it was calling out to me! Call it superstition, trying not to jinx myself, or a poor attempt at trying to prepare myself for raising a man, which scares the wits out of me, mind you…it’s how I spent most of the first trimester…only talking boy names, looking at boy clothes, etc, but without a real ‘feeling’ necessarily, just an assumption.
I’ve had some people try to make me feel bad about having a preference
in the first place, even though I think it goes without saying that I’m
grateful and excited to be pregnant. Apparently some people look at it
as selfishness. But sometimes, one gender just seems more your speed,
and you can’t help that and it doesn’t make you a bad person.
So I threw all thoughts to the wind, and started looking at items for both genders, and having fun with it. And I had no idea which gender this baby was, obviously. Because there’s no magic window to my uterus without paying doctor fees, and even that isn’t guaranteed 100%. But I really was beyond confused, they say women sometimes have a ‘feeling’ about the gender of their baby, but at that point, I had none. I was having fun considering both.
Over the last month or so, I’ve had two babies: a sassy, strong-willed, curly-haired, daddy’s girl and a sweet, kind-hearted, blue-eyed mama’s boy.
Tomorrow, I say goodbye to one of them. And I don’t know that I’m prepared for that. I can’t even say for certain that we’ll have another baby (I hope we will), so it’s bittersweet. Call me crazy, ridiculous, even insane, I don’t care. I’m a sentimental person and these two little beings have become thoughts, visions and days and nights of me imagining their life in the future.
Over the last week or so, one has been fading into the background and I’m already trying to let go, because one has taken over my thoughts in such a way that I can’t control it, I can’t turn it off. Is this that mother’s intuition they’re talking about? Thoughts so strong that nothing can sway them?
I will find out tomorrow. And we will see if my mind was truly ‘in the know,’ or if it was just happenstance. I’ll save my thoughts/feelings for my own peace of mind and probably write about it later.
Whatever the case, either child will be loved, more than life, and has a mama and a daddy that are so excited to meet him/her!
Let’s not even talk about the immense amount of pressure that has been bestowed upon me for an over-the-top gender reveal after this video…It may end up a bit simpler this time…
Happy Monday! If happy Mondays exist in your world…because this Monday, I’m suffering from the usual case of the Mondays AND a headache…deadly combo!