dearest little bean.
you are one whole year old. I cannot believe an entire year has passed since you made your way into the world.
being a mother, specifically your mother, has been the most beautifully rewarding thing I’ve ever done. I’m so honored and privileged to have you as a daughter.
life is a crazy journey, and sometimes i don’t quite know what direction i’m going…then you were born, and like the magnetic pull of the earth, my life’s path started pointing straight to you. we are connected and there’s no breaking the bond. my life’s path has been completely altered by your presence, and my life’s path has never been so clear. we may not know the future, but our future is with you and there’s no other adventure i’d rather be on.
you are the happiest and sweetest baby. you have your moments, yes, but you are truly an absolute joy and light in our lives. you are my daughter. my cautious, calculating daughter. a thinker, a planner, a calm, quiet soul.
the last year has been challenging, but so beautiful. every moment telling our every little story. the twists and turns slowly weaving a history and slowly weaving your life’s journey. there’s been so much happiness and so much worry. there have been moments where we feared for you. your health was at stake and we couldn’t bear the thought of something happening to you. but we triumphed together and you’re better because of our strong, family bond.
you love to laugh and make us laugh. it’s like you’re already forming your own dry sense of humor. and you understand so much. we try and tell you everything, talking you through all that we do so you can learn and absorb the world around you. this world that’s yours. you’re always pointing, with a look of absolute wonder on your face. i’m experiencing everything again through your eyes and it’s so beyond amazing. colors are brighter, sounds are clearer and your sparkle when you discover something new is like a drug, an addiction and gives me the purest rush of adrenaline i’ve ever felt.
we love hearing you say mama and dada, kitty or keesh as it sounds from your mouth, bubbye and even donald duck, which you learned from your favorite, mickey mouse clubhouse. you’ve got pearly whites shining bright in that little mouth and you’re on the move everywhere and are very close to standing and maybe, just maybe, walking. we watch you grow strong and healthy, all the while staying our tiny, petite, little bird. i’ll never forget the moment i saw you. i’ll never forget the moment i fell in love. i hope you’ll always see how much i love your father. he’s amazing and you look so much like him, right down to those enchanting blue eyes. seeing him with you rattles me, it shocks me to the core, and it feels so good to see that you have a loving and committed dad, who was there every step of the way. the day you were born was also the day your daddy asked me to be his wife. it was a long and hard day, but the i soaked it all in, taking mental notes of how i felt, riding the waves of pain, and knowing that in the end, my life will be different, in the best way possible.
every day is new, and every day is another chance to learn more about this being we created. this beautiful creature who continues to amaze us every day. every glance into your blue eyes pierces my soul. i love you so much, it hurts. it’s excruciating, physical and mental pain to be a mother. to love this much, feel this much, and care this much honestly and truly hurts. but it’s the most amazing kind of pain, the kind that makes you feel alive, the kind that makes you keep going.
i always wanted to be a mother, and it’s so much more than i could have ever imagined. when you lay that little head on my shoulder after a long day, my entire body feels like it might spontaneously combust. and just when you think you can’t possibly love more, you do.
celebrating your birth was amazing. reliving every moment of the past year, and imagining all that’s to come. seeing the love and support of those around you has us so grateful. you, my child, are loved beyond measure.
i wish you all the happiness in the world. a world with a lot of sadness, but there’s light there, you just have to keep your head up and know that we are there to help you every step of the way. you’re brighter than sunshine and your future is so good, i can feel it.
your little lark story continues and my heart follows wherever you go.