I cheated on Whole 30 – Week Two Update

So I’m going to start this out by coming clean…

We totally cheated. We totally did it consciously.

Whew…feels good to get that off my chest!

Whole30 is hard, y’all….It’s highly restrictive and while I’m reminding myself that it’s best for my health, it still feels sort of like punishment. I know part of the exercise is to change your way of thinking regarding food, in addition to your eating habits, but it’s hard for me swallow the idea that food can’t be fun. To be fair, the authors of the book aren’t saying food can’t be fun, but in my opinion, food during the initial Whole30 period is not fun….but I’m learning a lot! A lot about food, a lot about my health and a lot about making good decisions.

Week 2 was very difficult for me mentally and physically. James and I literally feel like we are starving, and we’re eating enough, trust me! But they discourage snacking because they feel it’s detrimental and promotes bad eating habits, like eating when you’re not hungry or snacking just to snack. They do say if you’re hungry, obviously have a snack, but be conscious and aware of whether or not you really need it. Typically our snacks are fruit, because that’s all we have to pick from, but sometimes it just doesn’t fill you up. We do add nuts in here and there as well. I’m also still having shakiness and weakness in the afternoon. It’s like a low blood sugar issue or something, I’m not really sure, and I think is another health issue I maybe need to address, but afternoons are somewhere that I feel like I need a carb-ish snack…so I need to find the right veggies or dishes that can help me out there. We also haven’t really noticed a surge in energy at all (even before the cheat), but it’s still early, I guess…

Mentally, I was stressed the ef out. Like legit panic attacks over what I could and couldn’t have, feeling trapped by food and overcome with fear of failure…then I had realizations in between and this is what I learned through week two…

Compromise – So I mentioned the anxiety of all of this and I mentioned that we cheated…I think the biggest lesson of Whole30, for me, is to learn to eat consciously. Be aware of what you’re putting in your mouth and tread with caution. And basically, I’m an adult. I make the decisions, not a book. Obviously, for health reasons, following the program to a T is most beneficial. But I sort of already know what makes me tick, food-wise…so I guess maybe that’s where part of my leniency comes from ??? This is all really just a cover to justify my mistakes to the public, but I just don’t care anymore, because it’s not anyone else’s life. So when Arlo’s first birthday rolled around last weekend, I slaved over baking special, allergy-friendly cakes for my kids, crafting a taco bar from scratch with healthy choice and zero additives and I allowed myself to enjoy it in the moment. I ate birthday cake at my son’s party because it was important to me. I ate homemade red rice and a taco shell because I enjoy those things and enjoying food with my family was more fun than sitting in absolute terror about failing. I did it and I’m okay with it. My body wasn’t fully okay with it, which I suspect is from the one cupcake I consumed, but mentally I was okay with it. I didn’t binge and I enjoyed every bite. I went through some stomach distress, and it reinforced my need for elimination of certain foods, but we just kept on. Now technically, you’re supposed to start over at day one if you ‘cheat,’ but we’re just soldiering on, for sake of the 30 day process. I’ve had to compromise on ingredients also because the requirements of this diet are just not feasible at times for us. I don’t always have access to organic, grass-fed protein sources and $15 for a tiny bottle of avocado oil isn’t in my budget. The first time I made Whole30 mayo, I ruined it and had to start over. Ran out of ‘compliant’ oil and had to substitute with ‘non-compliant’ oil, and in my opinion, it’s all fine because we’re still eating much healthier and we’re doing it within our own, personal means. Life (and eating) is about compromise. Eat consciously, enjoy eating and compromise when necessary while still keeping to your core values.

Moderation – I’m learning that it’s healthy to enjoy junk food. It’s perfectly okay to love brownies and pizza, just love your health more. Eat the brownies and pizza, just not for every meal (although that would be amazing). If you’re constantly depriving yourself, you WILL fail, because you’re more inclined to ‘cheat.’ Be okay with indulging from time to time and again, be conscious of it, be aware and learn good habits that allow you to stop and move on.

Take an alternate route – One of the BIGGEST ‘rules’ of Whole30 is refrain from making ‘offending’ foods with approved ingredients. Their example is pancakes. They discourage making pancakes with approved ingredients because it reinforces bad habits in your brain. But I disagree. I think finding an alternate (healthy) route to your favorite meals is perfectly okay. A healthier pancake is better than a standard one. Top it with fruit instead of syrup and you’re good to go! I made ranch dressing twice so far with approved ingredients. I’m sure it’s considered ‘non-compliant’ because it’s technically junk food, but I wanted a condiment I could enjoy, because mustard doesn’t go with everything. And you know what?! It’s delicious AND much healthier than processed ranch, which is awesome. I can enjoy something I love without horrible guilt. Now moderation goes hand-in-hand with this, just because it’s a healthier option doesn’t mean you should go nuts with it. You still shouldn’t eat 20 pancakes, even if they are made of egg and banana, and drowning everything is healthy ranch still isn’t a good idea, but you get my drift. Learn to reinvent the foods you love! Just don’t make the same mistake I did by trying to recreate breaded cauliflower with coconut flour, because it was a disaster and a mess to clean up. Enjoy what you love with proper modifications to fit your dietary needs. Or if you’re in pretty good shape and have an amazing metabolism, eat whatever you damn well please because you’re lucky! Eat the shit out of those donuts, I ain’t mad at you…

So I’m not really sure what to call this anymore. It’s not really considered Whole30 anymore, since I’ve strayed a bit, but I’m still following the fundamentals and am behind the science of it 100%, but have had to modify as I see fit. So maybe I should call it our “journey to wellness” or something else…I’ll get back to you on that one…

I’m also not sharing our menu for last week, since it just wasn’t exciting and I also didn’t write down some of it.

Going into week three I’m trying to work on meal planning again, finding more creative recipes and staying on track. This is a process, not a race…and maybe the key is running it at my own pace, one day at a time. I’ve also discovered a very important food intolerance I have (mentioned in my first post) and I’ll touch on that more in next week’s update…

It’s not failure, it’s a lesson. Make mistakes, learn from it, and move on.

OR

Live in the moment and enjoy it.

Either way, it’s YOUR choice, not anyone else’s…